This morning after I taught my mom how to ride her bike (our mother’s day gift to her) I had the pleasure of getting her back for making me eat that disgusting liver and those overcooked beets as a child… only she enjoyed the experience.

juice recipe
beets, blueberries, frozen goji berries, strawberries, carrots, celery, banana

I started off by juicing 3 carrots, 1 celery, and 1 large beet. Then in my favorite blener, the magic bullet, I combined all the remaining ingredients, added the juice with some crushed ice and blended it to my desired consistency. it’s simple, fun, and beautiful! now I feel great and I’m ready to tackle my day! it’s a juice thing…

yummy for my tummy! and focus for my day.

To my babies Daddy… I love, admire, and appreciate the father that you are to our children and the man that you are to me. Thank you for all that you do and for all that you are willing to do.

Since a post is not cool without a photo… I wanted to share this family group shot of us celebrating Lana’s birthday… Alice in Wonderland style. A few nights before Lana’s birthday party we realized that Lana would be the only one dressing up, so Andre wasn’t haven’ it. So he and I ran around town collecting things for our outfits. Andre didn’t want Lana to be alone and was willing to CoMpLeTeLy step out of his comfort zone and dress up just to let her know we’re in this together… NO MATTER WHAT! He’s truly the best dad I have ever known. I am honored to parent our children with him.

P.S. Andre’s Mom made Lana’s dress. Thanks again Mimi for your time and talent. You did a fantastic job! We love you….. love your weirdo family… LOL!

The first one, he lost, was wiggling back and forth and side to side so I gently YANKED it out of his little precious mouth. He said, “Owe, what are you thinking!” but that was it. He handled it so well. Nate was so excited to feel that his tooth was finally OUT! He put his tooth in his tooth fairy pillow and that night…magically….the fairy came and took his tooth but left $5 and a pack of gum for his very first tooth.  He was really pleased and wondered what he would buy with his $5. That afternoon he told his class everything that happened and then they all went to library book fair. Nate knew then exactly how he would spend his money. He was able to buy himself and his sister a book with his newly acquired 500 cents! He came home and presented Lana the new book he had hand-selected for her. She was ecstatic! Yes, Nate spent his very first tooth fairy money on his sister (Proud Mama Moment!). He is such a great brother with a huge giving heart. He understands that his sister takes a little longer to understand somethings…he takes his time and reads to her every night. This is one of his favorite family times right before bedtime. What a perfect gift for both of them to share.

The next morning he woke up and was talking to his dad. Andre looked at him and asked where his other tooth was. He looked at Andre with a confused face. Andre wanted to know when he lost it. Nate felt around his mouth for his missing tooth and stuck his tongue in and out of his newly created gap. He ran upstairs and looked all in his bed. He couldn’t find it. He probably swallowed it during the night. He was concerned that the tooth fairy would not be able to get his tooth now. We told him that she is magic and magic makes the impossible…possible.  She would still get his tooth from his belly button. That’s what they are made for. Each night in our prayers we state something from that day that we are thankful for and that night Nate said, “And thank you for having Mama and Dada pretend to be the tooth fairy.” He caught us all off guard as we blew it off with laughter. The next morning the tooth fairy awarded his belief with a couple more dollars and a new toothbrush, floss, and toothpaste. This time I think he will be using his funds on candy.
 
My toothless, almost 7 year old is a blessing and so grown-up;-)

Meet Miss Audrey. I will forever hold photographing her in my heart and continue to feel her genuine hug wrapped around me.

Ok, so I have a lump in my throat and my palms are sweaty as I type this part about sharing the most beautiful letter that I received from Audrey’s mom, who was celebrating her birthday on the day of the portrait event. I don’t know that I’m worthy of her writings, but I have to admit that I’ve cried a few times reading it and LOVE that she gets it! She really gets it! So feel free to read on, she’s Ok with it, as am I. For me, humbly so of course!

Dear Jenna,

I’m Audrey’s mom, Katrina, from the Ds Appreciation Portrait Event.  There are so many things I’ve wanted to share with you and Andre since that day, I don’t even know where to begin. 

I have to tell you Jenna, that I was overwhelmed when I first went onto your website, saw your beautiful work, and read a little about you on your blog.  My sister Karen (who lives in Santa Fe) is also a self-taught, beautiful soul, photographer, so I have a deep appreciation for what a special gift you have.  What I felt as I looked at picture after picture, before I had even had a chance to read anything you had written on your blog, was exactly what you later wrote about your experience photographing the children for the Portrait Event.  It is obvious that you do touch people on a deep level; you just open a little window (knocking first, of course) and look inside to their inner beauty and uniqueness.  Jenna, I cried like a baby, and do every time I think about what you wrote on your blog when you said, “Music plays in my head, we begin our conversation in our secret language . . .”  You have no idea – well, maybe you do, ’cause you’re you – but that is the kind of gift of great composers like Mozart and Beethoven, only you see and create, where they heard and composed.  Not to sound “woo-woo” or anything, but it just grabbed my heart to know that about you, and I so totally wanted to have the opportunity to have Audrey behind your lens.   As her mother, I feel so much love for her that I’d give anything to be able to capture in an image what you can, so I could show others what I see through my eyes.  So when you emailed that we were going to get to be in the photo shoot, I had to stand up and walk around and then sit back down, if you know what I mean!!
 
I felt like a star-struck fan when I met you and Andre, and the funniest thing just popped out of my mouth; I said to Andre that it isn’t often that you have the opportunity to meet someone who sees and appreciates the uniqueness and beauty of your child, and actually wants to spend time with them.  Watching the two of you work also made me cry.  It was beautiful.  I’m only halfway kidding you when I say that I’ll just bet if I had a little bit more of a discerning eye, I would probably be able to see the aura that radiates from you both.  Maybe it’s just your inner happiness, your joy for life – “your zeal” . . . but I’ll just bet that when I get to see an angel, I’ll see that same light shining from inside them.
 
AND THEN, after I had tried several times to sit down and comment on your blog, I got the link to the “Behind the Scenes” clip.  Oh boy, there I went again.  Crying like a baby.  But it wasn’t just me; my husband Michael watched it and tears rolled down his cheek as well.  That was validating for me.  I emailed it to all of my family and closest friends.  But honestly, while I received back nice comments from most, I knew and could tell that the emotion the images and the music evoked come more from a place of “knowing,” deep inside, what the life of a parent of a special child like ours is like.  Not only knowing their child’s unique beauty, but the other side as well – all of the difficulties, prejudices, lack of understanding and compassion from people who lack information, and a desire to know.  ARD meetings instead of ballet class, therapies instead of sleep overs, and a hundred other emotions.  Having that experience in my back pocket makes my appreciation of your vision all the more so.  I cannot wait to see all of the images you captured, because I want them all around my house.  But I have to tell you, the image that is imprinted in my brain and on my heart came from the video clip where the light was behind Audrey as she was bending forward and the breeze was blowing her hair and the light was shining behind her.  It was so beautiful!  Even my son commented on it, and he’s not one to dish out compliments, that boy!
 
One of your friends probably said it best when she said that you are such a gift to the disability community.  Like, yeah, and THEN some!!  Thank you, Jenna and Andre, so very, very much for sharing your love and your gifts with us parents.  This opportunity was a huge blessing and the best birthday present I’ve ever had!!!
 
Bless you both and your precious family,
Love,
Katrina Adams

Thank you Katrina for sharing such a beautiful email with me. It touched my heart in more ways than you know. It validated so much for me and gave me more fuel to work for my goal of sharing the beauty of children with Down syndrome with the world. I am forever grateful for your time and participation, but most of all for you sharing your beautiful daughter with us!

The day started off right. From Dez sleeping through the night…to the giddy giggles of my kids jumping on my bed waking me up…to the delicious black bean aroma filling the house (made by the best chef I know)…to dinner with my Mom and sister at one of our “younger years” most favorite restaurants in Dallas. To say the least, the day was great!

Andre was able to perfect my black bean recipe and paired it with a yummy tofu potato taco breakfast for us. Then Nate decorated the table with a platter of fruit that he picked out and a large card that he and Lana made for me. This was the first year that he really got what Mother’s Day was all about. He thanked me for being the “bestest Mama in the world”.

Since I started FickleZeal almost three years ago he has provided me all the tools and faith that I have needed. The only thing that was missing was him. He was proud that I had my “thang” (Andre’s word for business) and believed that I could do it. I knew I could as well, but I believed it could be better. I wanted him to be right with me in business.

He’s such a creative and detailed oriented person without fear. He is my yang to my yin, but yet we’re so much the same. He balances me. Awe, I know I’m getting sappy, and I know he’s going to dislike this post. very much. but every now and then it’s good for my soul to let it out. I’m in love!

Regardless of what those woman said I know my man is simply irreplaceable! We have an irreplaceable love.

We’ve been shooting weddings together for the last two years, but now he’s been bitten by the photographers bug and is joining me even more. Our last photo shoot did him in! Shooting the Down Syndrome Appreciation Event together was incredible. I couldn’t imagine experiencing it without him. The excitement that filled my being also filled his.

Besides that he makes me look good! Producing the behind the scenes video really brought life to our event, but more than that the beautiful people. I’m so grateful for all the wonderful feedback that I have received, but really it’s Andre making me look good. and he doesn’t even mind that I’m getting most of the credit, he just smiles and says “it’s ok, it’s really your “thang”".

my irreplaceable love. Andre.

We have been so privileged to go on this exhilarating roller coaster ride of emotions and self reflections to end-up in a new world almost everyday. What an adventure she has taken us on so far!!! We know that it’s only the beginning and we can’t wait to see how else she will help us evolve in this short life that we live. Only a few are chosen to be a part of this special adventure. We are the LUCKY ones!

We have never seen as much beauty in life and the pureness of a moment until our daughter “rocked our world”.  She has opened our eyes and hearts to a whole new existence that is filled with more joy and love which can never be expressed in words or actions to its fullness. FickleZeal was born because of Lana and all her glory. To be honest my favorite subjects are people with Down syndrome. It’s photographing their incredible beauty and going on the journey of awe and wonder with them. Each shoot is new and each person is unique. More than that each one of them brings out an inner part of me that I didn’t know existed. They awaken a better me!

Andre decided to get some video clips with our point and shoot camera just “cause”. And that just “cause” has turned into this lovely behind the scenes tribute to our day and every lovely person we photographed.

Thank you all for coming out and allowing us to capture your beauty! Photographing you gave us such joy and excitement. You are all dear to us!

We’ve often said that even though people with Ds may be categorized together because they were born with an extra copy of chromosome 21 in their DNA structure, it does not define them… and this was more than evident throughout our day of shooting.

Here are our FAVS from the day:

Meet Miss A, energetic and spunky!  Perfect start of the day.

Meet Mr Josh, caring, strong, and filled with personality.

Meet Miss E, on the go & free spirited.

Meet Miss M, too cool for words.

Meet Mr M, giving & mischievous.  great combo!

Meet Miss E, pure sweetness.

Meet Miss C, knows what she wants!

Meet Mr H, cuteness overflows him.  It was crazy how much he reminded us of our Lil’ Dez.

Meet Miss K, shy but SO lovable.

Meet Miss J, talk about wit and charm.

Meet Mr M, such a flirt and conversationalist.

Meet our Little Miss Lana, all that and a bag-o-chips!

October is National (America) Down Syndrome Awareness Month.  We look forward to hosting another portrait event then, so if anyone is interested please let us know by commenting below.

here is where I find purpose.  leaving all the worries of the things that I must do for tomorrow and enjoying the little subtleties of the now.  my life has been busy as this blog has laid here untouched.  i felt guilt.

the snow reminds me of just how precious the now is.  snow in texas will surely melt and be a distant memory.  the snow awakens my purpose.  and melts away the useless feelings of guilt that plagues me.

it’s ok that i have been consumed with the sweet new little grins, coos, hums, and cries of this little one.

its ok that i have been wrapped up in my children and spending time fostering the new bonds that are shared between them.  my 3 beautiful children.

tonight we all guiltlessly lounged snuggly on the sofa watching american idol as i twirled lana’s hair.  i got lost in her perfection and somehow forget about the toy that i tripped over to get to my spot of the sofa.  I forgot about the mound of papers that is waiting to be accounted for, for taxes. i let go of the worries of the bills that must be paid. and i forgot about that nagging to-do list. as i embraced the now with complete surrender.  i studied her laugh.  it is loud and fluent.

i realized how she has eagerly matured and taken on her important roll as big sister flawlessly.  she tenderly studied her little brother with utter love and attentiveness.  and nate studied them… and i caught Andre studying us as i studied them.  we all sat on our family sofa and love abounded us.

i guiltlessly love the snow!

Sweet as can be he’s now 3 weeks old.  He’s rounding our family off beautifully and has Nate and Lana, ahem… well all of us wrapped around his precious little finger.

As for me, I’m on maternity leave through the New Year.  I’m available for phone calls and emails so feel free to contact me.  I’ll respond as quickly as possible… I’ve quickly realized that I’m not in control of my schedule right now.  Dez is!

On November 20th my husband and I welcomed our third child Dezmond Dominik into our family…. literally.  Andre and I delivered him at our house.  Yes, we had a semi-unassisted home-birth.  I say “semi” home-birth, because thankfully our wonderful birthing team (Mid-wife Christy Martin, her assistant Abby, and our Doula / Hypnoduola Kathy O’brien) arrived just minutes after Dez was born (they were caught in Friday night rush hour traffic).  Immediately upon arrival they took incredible care of Dez and I and we couldn’t have done it without them.

Having Dez naturally at home was such an amazing experience that has bonded us all together in such a loving and intense way.  Being at home for his birth was so soothing, comfortable, and most of all it was just right for us.  At birth Dez weighed 9.6lbs and was 20.5in long.  My biggest baby yet.

Proud Dada Andre taking in all of Dez’s sweetness.

Me, proud and shocked Mama, taking in the moment, shaking a bit, and high from the experience.

Nate and Lana… simply in AWE of their baby brother.

Andre and I had planned for a home-birth, not so much the unassisted part, but when it happened, we worked together perfectly and encouraged each other throughout the two pushes… then Dez was there and in my arms.  I always say that Andre is great, but really you must know after this he truly is AMAZING.  I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful partner and best-friend to experience life with.

Photo taken by Kathy O’brien.

If you are client of ours and are waiting on anything from us, I beg your forgiveness and will get to it all once I get my feet on the ground again, hopefully Wednesday!!!  If you need something urgently feel free to send an email to me at jenna at ficklezeal.com titled urgent.

A post without a photo would be a shame, so here’s a share of our precious baby girl Lana.