Waking stiffly each morning after only a few hours of interrupted sleep I stumble around getting the kids ready for their day with dark circles under my eyes and my body at an awful kilter.  Attempting to get it together, I often hand Nate a cute my little pony bowl with a little purple spoon and Lana a large Star Wars bowl with Nate’s favorite silver spoon.  I confuse dates, read numbers backwards, and call Nate-Kenny, Lana-Nate, and Dez-Lana, Nate, or even Andre.  Usually one of the kids call me out with cute comments and even cuter giggles.

Thinking back I remember witnessing these characteristics and much of this behavior with my mom… and Andres’ mom.  That’s when it dawned on me that those silly movies must have been inspired by moms like me.  Real life walking zombies.  Not gross gory people with the instinct to kill, but moms in a catatonic state willing to sacrifice ego and self pride for the greater good of our family.

So, with this thought I embrace the zombie within in me and this temporary stage as I dance the days away with Michael Jackson’s Thriller blaring in my head.

Now to the photos.  Here’s my little, 3 month old, man that with his 4 nightly feedings and 3 to 5 startles is causing me to be in this catatonic state.  Oh… but don’t worry he so worth it!!!

I was working on a clients images and Dez was being absolutely adorable and I couldn’t resist seizing the moment.  I used the beautiful natural light coming from my office window and his soft white blanket which created a perfect natural reflector.  Shot with my Canon 5D Mark II and 24-70 2.8L

I was so excited to walk into the Robbins home to this smiling face.

and we played… and played

until Genevieve was ready with her sweetness

being 5 weeks old she was alert and didn’t want to go to sleep so we played in her moms sock drawer… then she relaxed… just enough!

Thank you Robbins family for welcoming me into your home to capture your beautiful family.   I had a great time and look forward to shooting you all again soon.

here is where I find purpose.  leaving all the worries of the things that I must do for tomorrow and enjoying the little subtleties of the now.  my life has been busy as this blog has laid here untouched.  i felt guilt.

the snow reminds me of just how precious the now is.  snow in texas will surely melt and be a distant memory.  the snow awakens my purpose.  and melts away the useless feelings of guilt that plagues me.

it’s ok that i have been consumed with the sweet new little grins, coos, hums, and cries of this little one.

its ok that i have been wrapped up in my children and spending time fostering the new bonds that are shared between them.  my 3 beautiful children.

tonight we all guiltlessly lounged snuggly on the sofa watching american idol as i twirled lana’s hair.  i got lost in her perfection and somehow forget about the toy that i tripped over to get to my spot of the sofa.  I forgot about the mound of papers that is waiting to be accounted for, for taxes. i let go of the worries of the bills that must be paid. and i forgot about that nagging to-do list. as i embraced the now with complete surrender.  i studied her laugh.  it is loud and fluent.

i realized how she has eagerly matured and taken on her important roll as big sister flawlessly.  she tenderly studied her little brother with utter love and attentiveness.  and nate studied them… and i caught Andre studying us as i studied them.  we all sat on our family sofa and love abounded us.

i guiltlessly love the snow!

As part of our family tradition we had to stuff our big boy in our stocking for our babies first Christmas photo that is hung on our Christmas tree.  It’s so sweet to see the three kids hang there.

I hope you had a Merry Christmas and that the year ahead of you is joyous and prosperous!

Things are going great with Dez.  Time is flying by fast as today marks his 4th week.  Andre says he’s a month old now, but I think you go date to date to mark that. How would you calculate it?  Either way I can’t believe he’s a MONTH old either today or in 2 days.  Isn’t that’s crazy!!!

He’s a very healthy eater and is growing like a weed.  At 4 weeks he’s 12.8 pounds and 22+ inches long.

Here’s my little chunky monkey.

Sweet as can be he’s now 3 weeks old.  He’s rounding our family off beautifully and has Nate and Lana, ahem… well all of us wrapped around his precious little finger.

As for me, I’m on maternity leave through the New Year.  I’m available for phone calls and emails so feel free to contact me.  I’ll respond as quickly as possible… I’ve quickly realized that I’m not in control of my schedule right now.  Dez is!

On November 20th my husband and I welcomed our third child Dezmond Dominik into our family…. literally.  Andre and I delivered him at our house.  Yes, we had a semi-unassisted home-birth.  I say “semi” home-birth, because thankfully our wonderful birthing team (Mid-wife Christy Martin, her assistant Abby, and our Doula / Hypnoduola Kathy O’brien) arrived just minutes after Dez was born (they were caught in Friday night rush hour traffic).  Immediately upon arrival they took incredible care of Dez and I and we couldn’t have done it without them.

Having Dez naturally at home was such an amazing experience that has bonded us all together in such a loving and intense way.  Being at home for his birth was so soothing, comfortable, and most of all it was just right for us.  At birth Dez weighed 9.6lbs and was 20.5in long.  My biggest baby yet.

Proud Dada Andre taking in all of Dez’s sweetness.

Me, proud and shocked Mama, taking in the moment, shaking a bit, and high from the experience.

Nate and Lana… simply in AWE of their baby brother.

Andre and I had planned for a home-birth, not so much the unassisted part, but when it happened, we worked together perfectly and encouraged each other throughout the two pushes… then Dez was there and in my arms.  I always say that Andre is great, but really you must know after this he truly is AMAZING.  I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful partner and best-friend to experience life with.

Photo taken by Kathy O’brien.

Fast forward to the present where they proudly said “I do”.  Photographing these stages in their lives has brought such joy and satisfaction to my job.  Ah, I love what I do!!!

They worked as a wonderful team coordinating each detail of their wedding day.  Justin really step it up and was super attentive to everything Kayla needed.

Andre and I had a wonderful time capturing their love and unity.  We look forward to capturing so much more in their lives.

love these moments!bliss!in the moment!  true love!

To see more from their wedding click here for their slideshow.

♥ Congratulations Kayla and Justin!  We wish you the best in your life and marriage together.

Brandee and Kenneth’s love is sweet and honest.  They have a sophisticated relationship that is undeniably real.  Their wedding was held at White Chapel UMC in Grapevine, TX.  The beautiful ceremony was followed by an elegant reception at the wonderful Gaylord Texan.

Andre and I are thankful they invited us along for such a wonderful event and a great date!  ; )  Who say’s you can’t have fun while you work or love your job with whom you are accomplishing it with!

I LOVE it when couples choose to have the see each other before the ceremony.  It gives them a beautiful private moment seeing other for the first time.  They’re able to exchange words of love right away and enjoy a few minutes of peace before the days events take over. 

Brandee’s brother proudly walked her down the isle.

White Chapels immense sanctuary.

Love this moment!

Details at the Gaylord Texan were beautiful!  A beautiful venue for a wonderful wedding!

yummy cake!

inspired.

Congratulation Brandee and Ken!  It was our pleasure to document your wedding day and your love for each other!

To view more from Brandee and Kenneth’s wedding click here for their slideshow.